I Love Teaching!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight was my first official class that I got to teach! Back in October, I subbed a class where only my friend Diane showed up. Read here if you want to know how that experience went down.  While that was an extremely valuable experience, I was left with a longing for more.  I wanted students I didn't know...who I could get to know.  Who I could share a piece of my stranger with their stranger.

I had the ability to prepare this time. I knew I had a great class planned with all the right stuff.  I had practiced. I knew my timing was good.  I kept telling myself that it was all going to be great. Exactly what you should tell yourself when opening a brand new door to a new journey in your life.  Let me tell you; even with all the kind words I was telling myself and the INCREDIBLE support from my insanely amazing friends and family, I was still scared SHIT-LESS!

I can't even pinpoint what I was so afraid of.  Even looking back at the last incredible hour I just
experienced, I still cant tell you why I was so afraid.

A family friend, who I haven't heard from in a long time, shared something about teaching today. It is brilliant and really helped me today. 

"Being a professor (and a teacher) is like doing a one-woman show that you wrote yourself, that is partly improvised and where the audience is encouraged to heckle everyday, sometimes several times a day."

Something yoga and my great teachers of life have taught me, is to just be myself.  To really honour, truly cherish and celebrate who you are. The world isn't always supportive, so why should you join the negativity party and be so hard on yourself?  Everyone is unique and has amazing gifts to offer.  Some gifts less palatable then others but still a gift in this grand scheme of things.  When you truly use what is unique and genuine to you, when you allow yourself, without pardons, excuses or negotiations to just be YOU, the world will find you irresistible! I guarantee it! I was given an amazing opportunity to get a teaching job so quickly, I vowed to just own it as only Carrie could.

 Another thing yoga has taught me is to devoid myself of attachment of the results.  Stop wishing things will go perfect, or basing your self worth on the end result; if it goes this way I will be happy.  If it goes this way though, I will be sad.  Just be.  Just experience.  It is perfectly OK to want a positive result but don't base the volume of the experience on what you can do well or what you can do wrong...just experience.  That is usually when the magic happens...when you least expect it.

I was so nervous driving there.  I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach.  I kept shaking my body to try to rid myself of the feeling but it kept sticking.  It was something that was going to have get unstuck from the inside.  Even though fear felt all consuming, I still kept walking one foot in front of the other towards the door.  Passion was leading me forward and passion always trumps fear.

Ildiko, one of my yoga classmates and Jessica, my coworker showed up to my class for support. Seeing them helped me calm my nerves.  I felt grateful to have supportive friends who would take time out of their evening to come support me. I used them both as my rocks.  I knew I could count on them if I got flustered during class.

The fitness coordinator introduced me to the class of 15, as the new Yoga Teacher...me...the person who had to privilege to TEACH something I LOVE to a classroom of willing students.  It was then that I realized there was nothing to be afraid of and I was the luckiest person in the room!  Yoga and my teachers changed my life and now I had the opportunity to possibly effect others? How incredible is that?

All nerves washed away right at the moment and I found myself just being me.  Proud to be me.  Excited to be able to share a piece of me to other people.  To share yoga! There was seriously nothing to be afraid of.   As class progressed I found myself just allowing words to come out of mouth naturally.  Things I have been pondering in my head, things I have learnt, channeling my amazing teachers I have had so far that have SO inspired me, just flowed naturally.

While giving thanks and Namaste to my new students, I found myself so grateful for their presence in the room.  I don't think I have been grateful for strangers as I was today.  I thanked them for coming and hoped to see them next week.  I truly meant it.  Putting my stuff away, I heard someone say "that was amazing" ... wow....seriously...I  couldn't believe it.  Two people came up to me and said they really enjoyed the class and couldn't wait for next week.  I may not have served everyone in the class today but I cant believe I even touched a few people. I think I accomplished that by just letting ME teach the class and not some version of myself I was trying to be.  Amazing.

As I step into this new role as teacher, I believe my students are going to become MY new teachers on this journey.   That makes me excited.

I am flying high right now.  The best part??? I get to do it all again NEXT WEEK!!  

Namaste xo!!