Happy Anniversary!

Three years ago today, the most wonderful thing happened to me...I married my best friend. So this post is a dedication to my wonderful husband Chris!

 For the last three years Chris has been traveling for work. The schedule is that he is usually gone for
two weeks to Alberta and back for one week in Ontario to have a rest.  The new schedule, now up North, is three weeks working and one week off. He works 12 hour days, 21 days in a row.  I get to only see my husband for one week out of every month for the next four months.

I know how hard him being gone is on me. I work full time, practice yoga as often as I can, blog, walk and play with the dog morning and night. I look after the house and anything that needs to be fixed or taken care of while he's gone. I manage all the banking, shopping and cleaning. You would think, when he isn't home, I would be a little more relaxed and less busy but I always find myself wiped out at the end of each day. I don't even get to see my friends much either. Then when he comes  home, I put my life on hold to accommodate him being home. I clear my entire schedule (except for work) so I can enjoy every nano second of him being home.  Then, when he leaves again, I have such a sense of loss, plus a routine I have to manage to put myself back into the moment he leaves.

All the hardship I may have to deal with, is no where near compared to what Chris has to deal with. He lugs thee, 50lbs bags through the airport on a regular basis. He deals with people at the airport who clearly have been let out of their house for the very first time in their lives (from the stories he tells me, that has to be explanation for the stupidity of humanity at the airport...he watched some women try to bring a meat clever though security?!!?!?) He sleeps in a cruddy bed in camps in the middle of nowhere, eats garbage food that is horrifically unhealthy. There are no other choices available to him in the cafeteria.  He spends many nights alone in his white square box room with nothing to do.  Sometimes there isn't even an internet connection or phone signal. The most amazing thing is he rarely complains. I dont know how he does it.

When this opportunity came up at work, he was offered a decent amount of cash to do these projects.  Seeing as we have no kids and a small house I can maintain by myself, we decided as long as it didn't take any toll on our relationship, we would sacrifice our time together to get ahead in life..."reap hay while the sun shines" as my Mom always says.

Many of our friends & family cannot fathom this kind of relationship. They don't understand why or how we can do it. Sometimes I wonder the same thing? We miss birthdays, concerts, anniversaries, date nights, holidays, special moments and many Saturday nights just snuggling on the couch.  But I think with great sacrifice comes great rewards. The financial aspect aside, I think this has solidified our relationship further. We truly are each others soul mates and best friends. When he is home, I am the first person he wants to see and vice-verse.  For the 7 days he is home it is like a mini honeymoon. We enjoy every minute of each others company and we realize our time is limited. We don't watch TV that often, we cook dinner together almost every night and we do the chores together with smiles. I also find that we are a little more accommodating of each other. Why spend the limited time nagging at each other when you could instead just appreciate each others company, faults included. Sometimes it feels all brand new, just like when we first started dating.

That doesn't mean when he comes home its all roses EVERY time. Sometimes he comes home on a bad week. I can be in a bad mood or him be so exhausted he doesn't want to do anything.  That is where the strength of our relationship is really tested.  As we only have 7 days to be with each other, it forces us to talk about anything that is bothering us. There is no such thing as the silent treatment in our house....we dont have time for it. We talk about any problems we have and we come up with mutual solutions as soon as possible. The key to our marriage is our communication. Everything is on the table. There is no secrets. He knows what pushes my buttons and I know what pushes his.  After the communication, our next biggest strength is our respect and love for who the individual person is. I am a complete neat freak and him not so much. Even though he spends three weeks leaving his junk all over his room up north, he picks up after himself when he is home.  That is pure respect to who I am in my opinion. He knows it bothers me and he does his best to accomidate. I know he likes leaving his junk around so I don't nag him as often to clean anything up.  If it really is bugging me, I clean it up myself.  We also take the time to notice these little things each other does for the other person. It's not all about the fancy dinners and monetary gifts. It's these little things that make all the difference.

Marriages don't have a quide book.  What works for one couple, wont work for another. Some couples look like they have all their stuff together, when they are falling apart on the inside. Some couples look like the worst match in the world and they are so in love it's incredible. What is right for your relationship, at that time in your life is decided by the couple and not by the norm or the rules. Breaking old traditions, can lead to new discoveries. Besides we got married in Vegas...tradition went out the window a long time ago :)

 I always get Chris a card on our anniversary and write something really nice in it. Since he doesn't have a mailing address to mail him a card, I will write it here. Emailing him would probably be more private but thats not what the blogging world is about! I know he reads my blog everyday, so I will just pour my guts out here!
 
So Chris, the most incredibly talented human I know, you are the pure definition of what a MAN should be. The things you do for our little family and the sacrifices you make are always appreciated. I always knew I would marry a nice guy but I didn't ever imagine that he would be ALL that you are. Your support for me is unquestionably unfaltering. My dreams are yours, my hardships are yours, my ambitions are yours, my shitty days are your personal mission to make better. How do you do it? How do you work so hard and take on my life with the same passion you take on your own?? Your calm & gentle nature, as I said in my wedding vows, is something I admire the most about you.  That part of you is such a mystery to me and I think you are incredible for it.

You laugh at all my jokes, when they are clearly not funny. It's not a pity laugh either, you really think they are funny. You make me feel like the smartest, prettiest, funniest, most amazing girl in the world.  I love you for all your amazing qualities and I still love you for your not so amazing ones.  Although I hate them, your joy at the weekly flyer delivery secretly makes me love you even more every Wednesday.

You have a lot of integrity in how you approach life. You say you are terrible with words and always say the wrong thing but I think actions speak louder than words. Everything you do, specially when solving problems, is done with such respect and care to not compromise who you are or who others are. That takes a lot of talent that most people don't have. I see so much in you of who I want to be myself.

Your my role model, my best friend, my lover and the person I want to grow old and die with. I cherish who you are and wouldn't change anything about you, even for all the shopping sprees in the world and that says a LOT! I miss you and can't wait to have our anniversary day celebration when you get home. I will be thinking about you ALL day! Happy Anniversary!

Namaste to Chris xo.