Can You Feel The Love...

Song Post!!! Took a break to share! Back to dancing!

Namaste xo

Happy Father's Day...

I am not one for poetry or usually get the meaning behind the words. Sometimes though, if I read something that even remotely reminds me of the love my Dad has given me over the years,  I am resolved to a blubbering mess of tears. 

I found something that just melts my heart and I think is perfect for My Dad on Fathers Day.

I Love Nature...

And Nature Loves Me! I saw this on my walk the other day and thought it was so sweet!! 

Namaste xo.

Happy Mother's Day...

My Mom shared this quote with me a while back and I thought it so perfect for Mother's Day. 

"No figure looms larger in a girl's life than her mother. 

But if things go right and the girl gets the love she needs, her mother looms less large and 

the girl grows up strong and hardy...

the star of her own life."

Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful Mom.  Thanks for giving me all that you have. Thanks for letting me be the star of my own life and allowing me to grow up bright and unique against the night sky.  You make me feel like I am brightest and I couldn't be more proud to shine next to another bright star like you.

 To all the mothers out there, Happy Mother's Day...your job seems so overwhelming to me and I admire your courage on your journey.

Namaste xo.

   

Welcome to the Journey...

"The Journey" seems to be all that my friend Rachel and I talk about lately...

Namaste to everyone's own path...may we all meet on our individual journey's.

Dirt is My Life...

I saw this on my way home from work last night and it just made me smile.  Another man's trash is another man's treasure! Love it!

Namaste xo.

Dreaming of Thailand....

Although Chris and I planned on watching Superbowl last night, we ended up booking our trip to Thailand instead.  We leave November 13th!! We are planning on going to Chiang Mai, Bangkok,

I Am Not What Happens To Me...

In my last post, I made a comment about how my back has been feeling stronger than it has in months. Well, it decided to make a liar out of me! On Friday morning, in the shower, I was reaching for the shampoo and my back totally gave out. It felt like someone drove a knife right into my spine. I put my hands on my back and moved myself upwards really fast as to not fall over. I then just stood there still, in the shower, evaluating the damage.

I associate my spine to a sleeve of saltine crackers. When it feels healthy, the packaging is all intact. All the crackers/vertebrae are all in line and protected in the confines of the packaging. When my back gives out it is as if someone took the

Balance...

Happy New Year everyone!

 So lets talk about resolutions. My resolution, every single year without fail, is to get healthier and be super fit. It's a tad extreme but I think the reason that's my yearly resolution is because by early December, my relatively decent lifestyle gets tossed out the window and is replaced with a cake and wine marching band through my everyday life until New Years Eve. What is it about December? We are not

Vulnerability...

My teacher told me that vulnerability was the greatest gift you could give other people.   I think it is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself as well. For me, when I trust someone, I really let them see the real me...all my faults and my weaknesses.  Sometimes that has gotten me in trouble with people who I should not have trusted but for the most part it comes as second nature to me.  If I really trust someone, I will let them know my insecurities and where I feel my faults may be. I am

Hemingway...

Awesome :)  Blogging drunk seems almost as scary as online shopping while drunk. 'Edit sober' is a very vital step not to be ignored, I am sure.

If anyone wants to read a great book about Hemingway's life from the point of view of his wife, Hadley, The Paris Wife is a great read. 

Namaste xo.

Merry Christmas...

Merry Christmas Everyone!!! I wish you and your families a healthy and joyous day!

Thank you everyone who has been reading my blog since I started. You support and interest in my random thoughts and ramblings is one of the best gifts I have been given this year!

The Divine Light in me recognizes the Divine Light in you and the Divine Light in you recognizes the Divine Light within me.

 

Namaste xo.

Happy Anniversary!

Three years ago today, the most wonderful thing happened to me...I married my best friend. So this post is a dedication to my wonderful husband Chris!

 For the last three years Chris has been traveling for work. The schedule is that he is usually gone for
two weeks to Alberta and back for one week in Ontario to have a rest.  The new schedule, now up North, is three weeks working and one week off. He works 12 hour days, 21 days in a row.  I get to only see my husband for one week out of every month for the next four months.

I know how hard him being gone is on me. I work full time, practice yoga as often as I can, blog, walk and play with the dog morning and night. I look after the house and anything that needs to be fixed or taken care of while he's gone. I manage all the banking, shopping and cleaning. You would think, when he isn't home, I would be a little more relaxed and less busy but I always find myself wiped out at the end of each day. I don't even get to see my friends much either. Then when he comes  home, I put my life on hold to accommodate him being home. I clear my entire schedule (except for work) so I can enjoy every nano second of him being home.  Then, when he leaves again, I have such a sense of loss, plus a routine I have to manage to put myself back into the moment he leaves.

All the hardship I may have to deal with, is no where near compared to what Chris has to deal with. He lugs thee, 50lbs bags through the airport on a regular basis. He deals with people at the airport who clearly have been let out of their house for the very first time in their lives (from the stories he tells me, that has to be explanation for the stupidity of humanity at the airport...he watched some women try to bring a meat clever though security?!!?!?) He sleeps in a cruddy bed in camps in the middle of nowhere, eats garbage food that is horrifically unhealthy. There are no other choices available to him in the cafeteria.  He spends many nights alone in his white square box room with nothing to do.  Sometimes there isn't even an internet connection or phone signal. The most amazing thing is he rarely complains. I dont know how he does it.

When this opportunity came up at work, he was offered a decent amount of cash to do these projects.  Seeing as we have no kids and a small house I can maintain by myself, we decided as long as it didn't take any toll on our relationship, we would sacrifice our time together to get ahead in life..."reap hay while the sun shines" as my Mom always says.

Many of our friends & family cannot fathom this kind of relationship. They don't understand why or how we can do it. Sometimes I wonder the same thing? We miss birthdays, concerts, anniversaries, date nights, holidays, special moments and many Saturday nights just snuggling on the couch.  But I think with great sacrifice comes great rewards. The financial aspect aside, I think this has solidified our relationship further. We truly are each others soul mates and best friends. When he is home, I am the first person he wants to see and vice-verse.  For the 7 days he is home it is like a mini honeymoon. We enjoy every minute of each others company and we realize our time is limited. We don't watch TV that often, we cook dinner together almost every night and we do the chores together with smiles. I also find that we are a little more accommodating of each other. Why spend the limited time nagging at each other when you could instead just appreciate each others company, faults included. Sometimes it feels all brand new, just like when we first started dating.

That doesn't mean when he comes home its all roses EVERY time. Sometimes he comes home on a bad week. I can be in a bad mood or him be so exhausted he doesn't want to do anything.  That is where the strength of our relationship is really tested.  As we only have 7 days to be with each other, it forces us to talk about anything that is bothering us. There is no such thing as the silent treatment in our house....we dont have time for it. We talk about any problems we have and we come up with mutual solutions as soon as possible. The key to our marriage is our communication. Everything is on the table. There is no secrets. He knows what pushes my buttons and I know what pushes his.  After the communication, our next biggest strength is our respect and love for who the individual person is. I am a complete neat freak and him not so much. Even though he spends three weeks leaving his junk all over his room up north, he picks up after himself when he is home.  That is pure respect to who I am in my opinion. He knows it bothers me and he does his best to accomidate. I know he likes leaving his junk around so I don't nag him as often to clean anything up.  If it really is bugging me, I clean it up myself.  We also take the time to notice these little things each other does for the other person. It's not all about the fancy dinners and monetary gifts. It's these little things that make all the difference.

Marriages don't have a quide book.  What works for one couple, wont work for another. Some couples look like they have all their stuff together, when they are falling apart on the inside. Some couples look like the worst match in the world and they are so in love it's incredible. What is right for your relationship, at that time in your life is decided by the couple and not by the norm or the rules. Breaking old traditions, can lead to new discoveries. Besides we got married in Vegas...tradition went out the window a long time ago :)

 I always get Chris a card on our anniversary and write something really nice in it. Since he doesn't have a mailing address to mail him a card, I will write it here. Emailing him would probably be more private but thats not what the blogging world is about! I know he reads my blog everyday, so I will just pour my guts out here!
 
So Chris, the most incredibly talented human I know, you are the pure definition of what a MAN should be. The things you do for our little family and the sacrifices you make are always appreciated. I always knew I would marry a nice guy but I didn't ever imagine that he would be ALL that you are. Your support for me is unquestionably unfaltering. My dreams are yours, my hardships are yours, my ambitions are yours, my shitty days are your personal mission to make better. How do you do it? How do you work so hard and take on my life with the same passion you take on your own?? Your calm & gentle nature, as I said in my wedding vows, is something I admire the most about you.  That part of you is such a mystery to me and I think you are incredible for it.

You laugh at all my jokes, when they are clearly not funny. It's not a pity laugh either, you really think they are funny. You make me feel like the smartest, prettiest, funniest, most amazing girl in the world.  I love you for all your amazing qualities and I still love you for your not so amazing ones.  Although I hate them, your joy at the weekly flyer delivery secretly makes me love you even more every Wednesday.

You have a lot of integrity in how you approach life. You say you are terrible with words and always say the wrong thing but I think actions speak louder than words. Everything you do, specially when solving problems, is done with such respect and care to not compromise who you are or who others are. That takes a lot of talent that most people don't have. I see so much in you of who I want to be myself.

Your my role model, my best friend, my lover and the person I want to grow old and die with. I cherish who you are and wouldn't change anything about you, even for all the shopping sprees in the world and that says a LOT! I miss you and can't wait to have our anniversary day celebration when you get home. I will be thinking about you ALL day! Happy Anniversary!

Namaste to Chris xo.

Stereotypical Halloween Post...

I love Halloween! Absolutely love it. I loved it when I was a kid and I still love it now. I used to carve  four pumpkins, varying sizes every year and pretty much started planning my costumes in August!!

In college, when Halloween become more of a holiday to be a hoochie (I don't judge), I still tended to take the more traditional costume route. I remember I went to the Sheridan College pub dressed

A Long History...

I guess I should let everyone know who I am and why I feel the need to write a blog about yoga and other ponderings in my daily life. First off I love to write. Always have. I find it a wonderful way to express oneself, even if no one reads it. I find I am more honest to who I am on paper (in this case computer) than I am in person. I have always wanted to start a blog but couldn't find the right topic as I found I am interested in many things. I am going to try to keep this blog strictly to a few of my main passions which are yoga, fashion, personal beauty (a suffering nail polish addict), and good karmic thoughts and maybe a little food and travel just to keep things interesting. 

So who is the lady behind the curtain who writes for My Ommm Life? The Cole's notes version is; my name is Carrie and I am a 28 year old female living in GTA, working as an importer for a company my Dad and I started about 10 years ago. I am married to the most amazing man in the world and I have wonderful parents who support me in any endeavor I venture on (well I forced my Mom to bookmark this page and read it every day or ELSE!!! I know she would anyways).

So why am I passionate about yoga? I started my yoga practice when I was around 15 and tried my first class with my Mom. Needless to say we didn't take it seriously. If anyone knows my Mom and me, well that means uncontrollable laughter for the entire session. We got in trouble from the teacher and I still feel bad to this day. At that time I obviously did not understand the full power of yoga. 

Around nine years later, when I had moved away from home, finished College and began working full time, I found a yoga studio near my house. I decided to join and take it a little more seriously. As a matured young lady now, I found myself going to yoga 5 times a week and really enjoying myself. It was powerful stuff. I felt stronger and more agile every day. The only thing missing was a good connection to my teacher. I wasn’t fond of her teaching methods and found she pushed too hard past my personal level of comfort in my practice. I felt like I didn’t have enough knowledge of the poses to be pushed that hard. I knew I would personally challenge myself to push to new levels but the environment was not conclusive to my own growth regulation. That being said, having this be my second yoga teacher, I didn’t know any better, so I continued to practice.

In class, we were instructed to venture into Camel Pose. If you know yoga, this is a very challenging pose and should not be ventured into lightly. Like I had mentioned, I didn’t really know what to squeeze, hold or to tighten and I guarantee I wasn’t breathing in this pose. I did feel I had it under control, although I was not comfortable. The teacher came to me and gave me a physical manipulation to move my hips & quads forward to deepen the pose. I wasn’t ready for any movement not made by myself. What this resulted in was an extreme compression of my lumbar spine and I dropped to the floor in pain. During my job in high school, I did injure my back badly and it has bothered me off and on for years. Unfortunately this yoga class just put a nail in the injury coffin. I knew something was wrong. I stuck around after class to talk to her about it and her response was I was hurt because I had a weak core. I never returned back to her studio. I just didn’t feel cared for and respected in my practice. I felt weak in more ways than one. I was sad as I had developed a great love for yoga and so desperately wanted to continue.

What resulted from that class was a deep chronic ache in my low back every single day. Chronic pain, as anyone who has experienced it, is with you ALL the time. It never leaves. It makes the rest of your body weak as well as your mind.  Simple tasks became difficult to do and sitting long hours at my job felt impossible. Being so young I figured my body would bounce back as it did in high school but the pain kept getting worse and worse. I should have taken care of it sooner but my naivety just made me live with the pain because I thought it should get better ANY day now. Going back to yoga seemed completely out of the question and I now feared it. How could something so simple hurt me this badly? 

About a full year later with no relief my back finally gave me the cue I needed to get help. On a Friday night, alone at my house, with my phone down stairs, a shocking, nerve crushing pain started at the base of my spine and just started to radiate over my entire lower body. I dropped to the floor and every breath kept sending these electric nerve bolts throughout my back. I have never felt so scared and vulnerable in my entire life. You may think that was the worst part but in fact, I was naked, THAT was the worst part. I kept thinking to myself, "If I only have one chance to move before this gets worse, would I rather get dressed...or go down and get my phone to call for help?" I chose get dressed believe it or not. Getting dressed allowed me to take my time, calm down and work out a teeny part of whatever was happening inside of me to tackle the stairs to go down and get my phone. I called my dear friend Diane and she came over to rescue me. It was a long night.

Next morning was no better and I called the closest chiropractor I could find to my house. Luckily for me, Dr. Paul at Southdown Chiropractic is the most compassionate health care professional I have ever met. I felt immediately comfortable with him and he promised me, with my dedication to recovery, he would fix me. His passion for my recovery has never faltered. Every time I see him, his concern for my well being is just like the first day I had met him even though its the same issue each time. I also felt I have had a friend with me during the really scary and painful parts. I knew this pain wasn’t going to go away overnight and I trusted him immediately for the journey I was going to go on. 

I had an X-ray and then an MRI. The X-ray showed I had arthritis my L4-L5. I assume this is from my injury from high school. The MRI showed I had two herniated discs in my L4-L5, L5-S1. I was told they are two different kinds of herniations so sometimes my chiropractic adjustments don’t work as well.  One adjustment will correct one joint and then the next adjustment can easily undo the first correction. Oh well, now I knew what was wrong and knowledge was power!

I saw him three times a week for almost three months religiously. There went my shopping fund! The relief was coming slowly. That wasn’t the last time my back decided to call it quits on me. It happened three more times. I was way too young for this to be happening!! I knew I needed more than just chiropractic adjustments.  Dr. Paul was advertising that he was going to try therapeutic yoga in his studio after hours and he thought I should join. I was so nervous of yoga at this point I didn’t want to sign up.

The teacher, Nancy, was actually one of the old teachers at the studio I hurt myself at. She was not the teacher I got injured with. We were both really excited to see each other. Some members stopped coming so I ended up with a lot of private lessons with her even though it was supposed to be a small group lesson. She knew what happened and encouraged me to go very slow and at my own pace. A teaching style I wasn’t accustomed to and greatly appreciated. I became hungry for more knowledge about each pose and what it benefited and what muscle groups to use to protect other areas of the body. My practice was weak at that point though. Up-Dog and Cobra consisted of me lifting my face off the ground and nothing more. I didn’t care. I was happy to be moving again and happy to be practising with Nancy who was happy for any progression I had. I saw her for almost three months and felt better every time I did. My Grandmother’s saying for back injuries was "move it or lose it!" So I kept moving it. 

After my classes at the Chiropractic office were finished I felt I could join another studio. I found a small hot yoga studio and met another great influential teacher named Suzie. She is just the greatest and most positive person I have met. Her story is similar to mine, being 23 and someone who used to dance religiously, she hurt her back and everyday life became impossible. She turned to yoga as well. She took it one step further and became a teacher....and a wonderful one at that. We clicked instantly and she took extra care of me in class to show me modifications and poses that were gentler on my back. She also seemed to really trust me because when I felt I wanted to try to push a little further she would watch my form but never tell me to slow down. She just let me be me in MY practice. And that’s the moment I realized yoga is a personal practice. It doesn’t matter what everyone else next to you is doing or what the teacher says, you do what feels good. Yoga should be challenging but should always feel good.  

A quote I love is:

The world needs yoga. This stuff is powerful and intense. It has the power to harm when held tightly, studied without practice, and posed rigidly. Done right, it also has the ability to heal and cure.

That is something I read recently and I believe in it 100%. For everyone who is thinking about starting yoga or have tried it and didn’t understand it, I encourage you to try it again. I know yoga changed my life and gave my life back to me...no punn intended :) When I don’t practice, I feel my back pain creeping up on me and when I practice regularly it lessons and sometimes, when the day is just right, it disappears. Those are amazing days! Yoga also helped with the negativity chronic pain imposes on your life.  I feel healthier in mind and body. 

Now I am sure any excises program could have given me my life back but yoga fits my life and who I am.  I truly love it. That doesn't mean, after a long day of work, I don't drag my ass off to yoga dreading class but every time I leave I am so grateful to my body and allowing myself to be there. Yoga makes me grateful for my body like I have never been grateful before.  Yoga has also made me understand to appreciate your body no matter what form it is in (tall, short, skinny, fat or any other combination) it could be worse in every case.  Life can throw curve balls at you and I figure that you never know what the future holds, so you might as well do and use everything you have been given, to the fullest, as one day it may all be taken away.
  
My journey doesn't end here. I am currently taking my training to becoming a certified yoga teacher.  I would like to specialize in people just starting or returning to yoga after a long period off. I also want to work with people who come from a back ground of chronic pain and injury.  Chronic pain is a long road to recovery and it is nice if people have a friend along the way to walk with them, to listen, help and understand.  I hope to share with you all my learning’s from training and share some insights to what I believe yoga is and what it can do for you.

Thanks for reading!! More...shorter...posts will be coming soon.

Namaste xo.

The first day of My Ommm Life...

Welcome to my first blog post! More to come soon! Namaste  xo