I Am Not What Happens To Me...

In my last post, I made a comment about how my back has been feeling stronger than it has in months. Well, it decided to make a liar out of me! On Friday morning, in the shower, I was reaching for the shampoo and my back totally gave out. It felt like someone drove a knife right into my spine. I put my hands on my back and moved myself upwards really fast as to not fall over. I then just stood there still, in the shower, evaluating the damage.

I associate my spine to a sleeve of saltine crackers. When it feels healthy, the packaging is all intact. All the crackers/vertebrae are all in line and protected in the confines of the packaging. When my back gives out it is as if someone took the
packaging away and the crackers are on their own, sliding all over the place. In the shower, the loose cracker feeling had begun. I did not feel sturdy at all and had trouble getting out of the shower let alone getting dressed. Every movement felt like I was going to fall over.

I wasn't scared this time but found it extremely frustrating. This is how I started off 2012! The positive, is at least now I knew what to do. I immediately called my coworkers and said I wasn’t coming to work as I needed to take care of myself. I got an anti-inflammatory and a muscle relaxer into me as soon as possible. I grabbed the ice back and lay down on the floor for the next thirty minutes, gently stretching my spine. Then I headed back to bed with a pillow under my legs to drift off into trippy dream land from the muscle relaxer.

I remember how scared I was back in 2012 when this all started to happened. I had no idea what to do; heat packs or ice packs? Tylenol or Advil? Doctor or Chiropractor? Lie down or sit up? Now it seems like I am an old pro! I gave myself one day of rest and then the next morning, I got up and started to be a little more active than Friday. I took the dog for a walk. I did some deeper stretches and did a few easy core exercises. Any time I had to pick something up, I made sure to bend my knees deep and really use my legs. I stopped the muscle relaxers and switched to Tiger Balm but continued the anti-inflammatory for a few more days. By today, Monday, I am feeling almost better. That's a far cry from the months of healing I used to have to go through. The things I have learned about this area in my body.

My Mom got me these cute oracle cards for Christmas, similar to the ones that my yoga teacher had. I guess you could call them a daily fortune telling. On Saturday morning I pulled "A New Dawn Has Come" It said that the worst is behind me and only bright things are on the horizon. Well isn’t that fitting?

This whole incident made me realize that when something bad happens to you, it gives you a golden opportunity to look for solutions. The solutions and lessons you find won’t just help you fix the current problem you are facing but will also be lessons under your belt as arsenal for future problems you may face. It’s easier to be a victim and blame than using your brain to come up with positive solutions to help you fix things in your life you don't like.

I really like this quote:

I wasn’t blessed with a strong spine but dammit, I choose not to accept that! I choose to be strong and do everything in my power to do something about it. Even if it still hurts at the end of the day, at least I can say I choose to do my best!

Namaste xo.